Week 7, but also Week 6
The first line of this week's column could be a lyric from Graceland
I’m looking at a photo of the aurora borealis with the Oscar Meyer weinermobile parked prominently in the foreground. I’m hoping it was taken just outside Madison, Wisconsin, but it’s from Kirksville, Missouri. I’m in Oakland, CA, so Kirksville, MO can be just outside Madison, if you want to be like that. I skipped the vast majority of a solid TNF game to watch the Yankees close out the Royals, so maybe I want to be like that this week.
Since handing over their car keys and house to USC and Bama, Wisconsin have pulled it together a bit. I am thankful that inside of every team is essentially being on a submarine with only next week’s opponent to focus on, because the transitive properties of college football have gotten me down. Since Alabama stomped on Wisconsin’s neck, they have run up the score on Georgia before nearly giving it all away, lost to Vanderbilt for the first time since the year Purple Reign was released, and got into a close one with the true USC; University of South Carolina.
As parity sneaks its way into the college game the transitive win/ loss game, already volatile data, becomes inscrutable, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel bad. Except for Georgia State who beat Vandy two weeks before they beat Bama. I bet they feel pretty alright.
Cal lost in excruciating fashion again, this time in Pittsburgh. Even with the most ball hawking ballhawk of a cornerback, who got two interceptions on the day, the offense was uneven as ever, attempting and missing two two point conversions early on, turtling with a lead in the 3rd quarter, and missing kicks later. The team is unquestionably pretty good but also looks to be marching towards the same five or six win season they’ve had under Coach Wilcox.
The Pitt freshman Quarterback is undoubtedly having a long week in the film room, but lucky for him Pat Narduzzi doesn’t actually enjoy offense, but like Kirk Ferentz, will allow for points to be scored in seasons where his effectiveness as a coach is being called into question. The Pitt defensive line dominated Cal, who couldn’t stop the rush for anything. Interviewed on the sideline as the offense gets back onto the field, Narduzzi sort of seems to not give a shit. He’s all hopped up from watching his defense get home. Everybody involved in the game seemingly had a bad day except like 3 guys on defense.
The following Monday I’m at The Kingfish watching the small town Yankees point their death laser at the next midwestern team up, with the Jets and Bills playing on the TV to the left. The Johnson and Johnson heir and former Ambassador to the United Kingdom is a guy named Woody. Woody Johnson is a week removed from firing his defensive head coach for losing in embarrassing fashion in front of Woody’s old work friends in London, and as the game is on, maybe ten hours away from announcing a major addition to their offense. When asked about signing 31 year old Davantae Adams and taking on the end of his contract, Woody does the thing wealthy people sometimes do where they reference something relatable, but from the wrong angle.
“You’re not a thinker, you’re a driver” he says to a scrum of reporters outside the owners meeting. I am relatively sure a younger relative explained to his friends the next day that of course he told him to say “if you’re not first your last.” I am afraid of how he feels when the stadium vibrates. I don’t think he is a good steward of a sports franchise, but I do respect that he would pay Davantae Adams full contract when the Kansas City Chiefs ownership is insisting they’re too broke to bring in talent at receiver to compensate for losing Rashee Rice for the season. Raiders owner Mark Davis could have landed his organization a second round draft pick if he opted to pay out the rest of Adams’ contract, but opted for a conditional 3rd rounder to have that bill fall to the Jets. Reportedly the 900,000 or so a game he was paying for Adams to sit out with a dubious hamstring injury was not something he could bear. I suppose it’s harder to charge things to the game when that bill is still yours.
Aaron Rodgers, for his part, is the last show in town. Things that made him very good now make his play style outdated. It's not so much that the age gap between him and his teammates is jarring, it’s that they grew up being taught the game in a different fashion with different concerns. Putting offensive players in motion pre snap has been the single biggest evolution of the game in the past decade, and the natural next step is being taken now, with defenses also going into motion pre snap, simulating pressures, and in general working to confuse the offense as much as smack them in the mouth. None of these changes work in the favor of a player glued to the pocket who lets the play clock roll down to one every play, but he won’t entertain RPO (Run Pass Option) because he doesn’t like to turn his back to the defense. Apropo of nothing I would love to hear his review of Megalopolis.
Since the Jets are pot committed at 2-4, trading for Adams was the only decision rather than the right one, like having to invest in a new laptop for work six months before a new model comes out when you aren’t entirely sure you’ll have the same job this time next year. The Bills followed the Jets news hours later by trading for Amari Cooper, who is statistically the worst wide receiver in the NFL this year. It has been an inspiration to watch him quiet quit on Deshaun Watson and the Browns. While Adams sat out a few games with a dubious but real hamstring issue, Amari Cooper simply stopped trying very hard until he got traded to a good team. His new quarterback is the size of Cam Newton with the disposition of a Golden Retriever and I’m happy for all involved. If Aaron Rodgers were a few years younger, and was going to be playing in the division just a bit longer, I think we as a general fandom could develop an Unbreakable narrative. Maybe we still can, there’s enough season left, and the two teams play again December 29th.